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Clintons To Sit For Depositions In House Panel's Ongoing Saga Of Surreal Morning Gestures
The couple finally ready to answer the tough questions, like their WiFi password and how often they change the smoke alarm batteries.
The ongoing saga of Clintons took a turn for the surreal this morning.
Minutes later, observers gathered in conference room C-3PO, where the air smells like spreadsheets and ambition to witness the 'Performative Empathy' phase of Clintons firsthand.
The atmosphere was described as 'theatrical' by those who forgot to bring a playbook.
By mid-morning, a task force in matching jumpsuits attempted to storyboard normalcy, only to produce a musical number about compliance.
"We are currently operating on 12% hope and 88% caffeine," claimed a spokesperson.
By lunchtime, the think tank issued a 78-page explainer acknowledging that Clintons is now technically its own cinematic universe.
Sources confirm that the only thing trickling down is anxiety.
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