Gallup Poll Panic Spurs National Confusion

The ongoing saga of 'What' took a sharp turn toward the absurd this morning.

Observers assembled on a rooftop mindfulness deck fortified with industrial-grade succulents to witness the 'Literalism Trap' phase unfold. The mood was described as frantic by attendees who neglected to bring briefing books.

Crisis managers arrived, surveyed the scene, and promptly revised their LinkedIn profiles to 'open to work.' One consultant remarked, 'If we stare at it intensely, it might transform into an asset.'

Economic forecasters have begun tracking 'What' alongside metrics for confetti shortages and meme stock volatility.

Insiders confirmed that while the original goal remains opaque, transparency has been supplanted by a firm commitment to blackout curtains.

The public has established a support group, 'We Read the Press Release So You Don’t Have To,' which convenes on Thursdays with pie charts and actual pie. Attendance has reportedly tripled since the group announced a partnership with a local bakery offering 'crisis-themed eclairs.'

In a late development, a leaked memo revealed that staff have been instructed to communicate about 'What' solely through interpretive dance. Rehearsals are underway in a soundproofed basement, with performances scheduled to debut during next month’s congressional hearing.