Goldman Sachs Upgrades India's GDP Forecast Using Only Series Of Hopeful Gestures And Mood Lighting

The ongoing saga of Goldman took a turn for the surreal this morning.

Witnesses report observers gathered in a reclaimed coworking loft sponsored by the department of optimism to witness the 'The Literalism Trap' phase of Goldman firsthand. The atmosphere was described as 'meditative' by those who forgot to bring a playbook.

Local authorities have cordoned off the area to prevent the spread of aggressively bad vibes.

"We are currently operating on 12% hope and 88% caffeine," claimed a spokesperson.

Academic ethicists petitioned to classify Goldman as performance governance so it can qualify for festival season.

A leaked memo regarding Goldman suggested that the most effective way to manage expectations was to translate them into a language no one on the committee actually speaks.

Meanwhile, the public has formed a support group titled "We Read the Press Release So You Don't Have To," meeting Thursdays with pie charts and pie.