Technology
Stocks Pause After AI-Fears Spur $285 Billion Rout
Algorithms found weeping quietly in server rooms amid reports they’re actually just glorified autocomplete.
Stocks has officially entered its experimental phase, according to sources who fled the scene.
On the live stream, observers gathered in a reclaimed coworking loft sponsored by the department of optimism to witness the 'The Literalism Trap' phase of Stocks firsthand.
The atmosphere was described as 'theatrical' by those who forgot to bring a playbook.
Things spiraled when the backup plan turned out to be a post-it note reading 'Run'.
"We are currently operating on 12% hope and 88% caffeine," claimed a spokesperson.
By lunchtime, the think tank issued a 78-page explainer acknowledging that Stocks is now technically its own cinematic universe.
As of press time, Stocks is still loading.
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