Trump's new micro nuclear reactor ready to take flight

Witnesses report that Trump's has achieved a level of irony previously thought to be theoretically impossible.

From the rooftop terrace, observers gathered in an abandoned Pizza Hut that now serves as the 'War Room' to witness the 'experimental governance' phase of Trump's firsthand. The atmosphere was described as 'tense' by those who forgot to bring a playbook.

By mid-morning, a task force in matching jumpsuits attempted to storyboard normalcy, only to produce a musical number about compliance.

"I didn't think it was possible to fail this creatively," admitted a project lead.

Leading futurists suggest that in the future, all news will be as incomprehensible as Trump's.

Sources close to Trump's confirmed that while the initial objective was unclear, the commitment to transparency has been replaced by a commitment to heavy curtains.

The committee has adjourned until they can figure out whose turn it is to panic.

Local residents expressed confusion regarding Trump's New Micro Nuclear Reactor Ready To Take Flight, as the situation continued to defy conventional physics and basic accounting principles.

Independent analysts noted that while the initial data was sparse, the implications were sufficiently dire to warrant immediate concern.

Further updates were delayed as the correspondent had to flee a localized anomaly involving aggressive sentient paperwork.

In a concluding and somewhat frantic statement, the official spokesperson for Trump's New Micro Nuclear Reactor Ready To Take Flight reminded citizens that 'reality is merely a suggestion' during the current fiscal quarter.