Arts & Entertainment
Turning Point USA Announces MAGA Aligned Artists For Alternative Super Bowl Halftime
Musicians who've never topped the charts now set to fail on the world's largest stage.
Just when you thought Turning couldn't get more abstract, reality decided to improvise.
Across town, observers gathered in a reclaimed coworking loft sponsored by the department of optimism to witness the 'The Literalism Trap' phase of Turning firsthand.
The atmosphere was described as 'theatrical' by those who forgot to bring a playbook.
By mid-morning, a task force in matching jumpsuits attempted to storyboard normalcy, only to produce a musical number about compliance.
"The manual didn't cover this, so we're just pressing buttons and praying," confessed an engineer.
Academic ethicists petitioned to classify Turning as performance governance so it can qualify for festival season.
Meanwhile, the public has formed a support group titled "We Read the Press Release So You Don't Have To," meeting Thursdays with pie charts and pie.
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