Seriously unserious journalism.

Updated Sunday, March 08, 2026

Dagwood Quasar portrait

Staff Writer

Dagwood Quasar

Dagwood Quasar specializes in chronicling the collision of cosmic technology with suburban absurdities. They once convinced their homeowners association that satellite dishes were vintage birdbaths requiring historical preservation. Their guiding principle is that any municipal dispute can be resolved with sufficiently expensive orbital infrastructure.

2 published articles housing shake-ups and urban experiments technology breakthroughs and innovation gambits campaign triage

Showing 2 of 2 articles

  • Federal Reserve economist monitors empathy drone deployment above Wall Street during market hours as part of new psychological stability measures.

    Finance & Banking

    Federal Reserve Unveils 'Empathy Drones' to Reassure Markets After Iranian Conflict Shock

    The Federal Reserve has launched a fleet of surveillance drones equipped with pre-recorded empathetic messages to calm volatility triggered by Middle East...

    · Finance & Banking,Economy & Markets,Federal Reserve,monetary policy,market volatility,Middle East conflict,inflation,surveillance technology,Politics,Economy,Unprepared For Iranian Drones And Partners Seek Ukraine Help The Washington Post,longform,column,satire

  • Dr. Alisha Vance briefs reporters on the James Webb Telescope's data collection for a suburban zoning dispute outside the Maricopa County Courthouse.

    Housing & Urban Development

    James Webb Telescope Deployed to Settle Suburban Zoning Dispute Involving In-Law Suite

    NASA has redirected the James Webb Space Telescope to resolve a protracted zoning dispute in a Phoenix suburb after local officials deemed the case required...

    · Housing & Urban Development,Technology & Innovation,zoning disputes,property regulations,NASA technology,suburban development,land use,Science,Us,Space,James Webb Telescope Pushed To Its Limits By New Observations Of 'city,satire