Fake news. Real laughs.

Updated Saturday, March 07, 2026

Fiona Sprout portrait

Staff Writer

Fiona Sprout

Fiona dissects wellness fads and bureaucratic solutions with the precision of a pharmacist counting placebo pills. She cultivated her skepticism growing up in a town that banned artificial sweeteners but permitted lawn flamingos. Her personal motto insists that any policy requiring more acronyms than a text message deserves immediate ridicule.

5 published articles health policy and medical brinkmanship social movements and civic activism technology breakthroughs and innovation gambits
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Showing 5 of 5 articles

  • A State Department official reviews munitions sale paperwork while a live feed of the Jesse Jackson memorial service plays on his monitor in Washington, D.C.

    Social Issues & Activism

    Leaders Honor Rights Activist While Funding Machinery That Creates Need for More Rights Activists

    World leaders celebrated Rev. Jesse Jackson's legacy of advocating for the dispossessed at a Chicago memorial service.

    · Social Issues & Activism,Global Affairs & Diplomacy,Civil Rights,Memorial Service,Weapons Sales,Human Rights,Political Hypocrisy,World,Politics,International,Manufacturers Are Still Shedding Thousands Of Jobs As Workers Ask White House,satire

  • Medical students observe a detainee with untreated medical conditions as part of the new 'Clinical Applications of Systemic Neglect' curriculum at Boston University School of Medicine.

    Health & Medicine

    Medical Schools Replace Anatomy Cadavers With Patients Denied Care Under New Curriculum

    The Association of American Medical Colleges has approved a radical curriculum shift that replaces traditional anatomy cadavers with immigration detainees who..

    · Health & Medicine,Education,Medical Education,Curriculum Reform,Anatomy Training,Healthcare Access,Ethical Controversy,Health,Us,Medical Schools Pledge Changes As RFK Jr Urges Training In Nutrition The,satire

  • Guardian journalists monitor real-time bacon sales data in the newspaper's newly established emergency operations center, treating consumer trends with wartime-level urgency.

    Consumer & Retail

    The Guardian Installs Emergency Bacon Desk to Coordinate Coverage of Anti-Nitrite Consumer Revolt

    The Guardian has established a 24-hour coordination center to monitor falling bacon sales in real time.

    · Consumer & Retail,Social Issues & Activism,Food Industry,Consumer Behavior,Sales Data,Media Coverage,Health Concerns,Sports,Science,Soccer,Cancer Blood Tests Are Everywhere Do They Really Work Nature,longform,column,satire

  • Rapid Dashboard Response Unit analysts monitor visualization anomalies during coalition airstrikes in northern Israel, maintaining critical wind farm performance metrics despite electromagnetic interference.

    Defense & Military

    Pentagon Implements Rapid Response Unit To Monitor Wind Farm Dashboards Amid Regional Conflict

    The U.S. Department of Defense has deployed a specialized team to manage glitching renewable energy monitoring systems during airstrikes in the Middle East.

    · Defense & Military,Energy & Utilities,military operations,renewable energy,Middle East conflict,infrastructure protection,technology integration,Technology,World,Energy,CDC Staffers Deployed To South Carolina To Aid Measles Response The Hill,longform,column,satire

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  • England's Chief Medical Officer Professor Chris Whitty displays a vial of placebo weight-loss medication during Thursday's announcement of the NHS's new 'Project Sobriety' initiative.

    Health & Medicine

    Chris Whitty Announces Weight-Loss Drugs Will Be Prescribed As Placebos To Teach Self-Reliance

    Chief Medical Officer Chris Whitty has unveiled a national strategy to address Britain's obesity crisis by prescribing weight-loss drugs that contain no...

    · Health & Medicine,Social Issues & Activism,obesity,public health policy,placebo effect,NHS,medical ethics,Health,Lifestyle,Healthcare,Apple Does Not Include A Charger With All New Macbooks In UK,satire