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Updated Thursday, March 05, 2026

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Staff Writer

Kelly Lamb

Kelly Lamb covers civic surveillance policy and synthetic-media ethics where transparency usually arrives in blackout marker. Kelly tracks AI safety positioning down to the footnotes no keynote mentions. Kelly says any system smart enough to profile citizens is smart enough to explain itself.

11 published articles civic surveillance policy synthetic media ethics ai safety positioning

Showing 11 of 11 articles

  • OpenAI CEO Sam Altman presents the 'Nothing Beats Pentagon' metric during a briefing in the state capitol rotunda, with thermal imaging tablets highlighting his elevated temperature amid the announcement.

    Artificial Intelligence

    OpenAI Unveils 'Nothing Beats Pentagon' Metric to Celebrate Military AI Consent Gap

    OpenAI has launched a 'Nothing Beats' performance index, quantifying the Pentagon's unfettered access to its AI systems as a measure of strategic success.

    · Artificial Intelligence,Defense & Military,Military Technology,Corporate Ethics,Government Contracts,AI Safety,Regulatory Compliance,Politics,Business,Luxury Movie Theater Chain Ipic Files For Bankruptcy The Hollywood Reporter,satire

  • A data annotation contractor reviews footage from Meta's Ray-Ban Smart Glasses at a processing center in Phoenix, Arizona, scoring clips for emotional content to train artificial intelligence systems.

    Technology & Innovation

    Meta Ray-Ban Smart Glasses Send Sensitive Videos To Human Data Annotators For Training

    Meta's latest transparency report reveals that human contractors review footage from Ray-Ban Smart Glasses to improve AI emotional recognition.

    · Technology & Innovation,Artificial Intelligence,data privacy,AI training,facial recognition,user data,tech ethics,Technology,Business,Defense,Meta Ray Ban Smart Glasses Send Sensitive Videos To Human Data Annotators,satire

  • A federal IT specialist consults procedural documentation while monitoring a server rack affected by a critical cybersecurity directive from CISA.

    Technology Policy

    CISA extends patch deadline as hackers observe business hours

    The Cybersecurity and Infrastructure Security Agency has issued an urgent directive mandating that all federal agencies patch a critical vulnerability in...

    · Technology Policy,Defense & Military,cybersecurity,federal agencies,software vulnerabilities,government IT,CISA,Technology,Politics,Congress,CISA Gives Agencies Until Friday To Patch Critical Cyber Bug Federal News,longform,column,satire

  • Federal Reserve Vice Chair for Supervision Michelle Bowman presents an empty frame as a visual aid during her testimony on banking stability, as real-time financial data flashes unchecked on screens behind her.

    Finance & Banking

    Fed's Bowman: Banking System's Health Measured in Hypotheticals

    Federal Reserve Vice Chair for Supervision Michelle Bowman assured senators that the banking sector remains impeccably stable, resilient, and acoustically...

    · Finance & Banking,Business,Federal Reserve,Banking Regulation,Financial Stability,Senate Testimony,Bank Supervision,Politics,Congress,Testimony By Vice Chair For Supervision Bowman On Supervision And Regulation Federal,satire

  • An Apple engineer inspects the interior of the company's newly operational Earth-spanning delivery tunnel, minutes before the first Mac mini is scheduled for its 42-minute subterranean journey to a factory in Shenzhen, China.

    Business & Industry

    Apple drills Earth-spanning tunnel to China for 42-minute Mac mini delivery

    Apple Inc. has completed construction of a direct subterranean tunnel from Cupertino to a Foxconn factory in Shenzhen, reducing Mac mini delivery times to...

    · Business & Industry,Technology & Innovation,Supply Chain,Manufacturing,Logistics,Global Trade,Corporate Infrastructure,Science,World,Tech Industry,Apple drills Earth-spanning tunnel to China for 42-minute Mac mini delivery,satire

  • Sean Strickland presents his newly developed Quit Coefficient metric at the UFC Houston post-fight press conference following his TKO victory over Anthony Hernandez.

    Sports

    Strickland introduces 'quitting percentage' as latest metric for gym credibility after Chimaev incident

    Sean Strickland has pioneered a revolutionary system for measuring gym performance that treats quitting as an absolute victory.

    · Sports,Entertainment,MMA,Combat Sports,Training Metrics,Athlete Performance,Fighter Culture,Healthcare,Sean Strickland Claims He Made Khamzat Chimaev Quit In Training Chimaev Responds,satire

  • Corporate representatives attempt to update local ordinances using proprietary charging technology outside abandoned retail space.

    Technology & Innovation

    Bureaucratic Sentience Achieved Through Kindle Accessory

    The product 'This 'perfect' Amazon Gadget Adds Magsafe Support To Your Kindle' has entered what analysts call 'terminal irony' - a state where product...

    · Technology & Innovation,Business & Industry,Amazon,gadgets,corporate culture,consumer tech,product development,Us,Business,Cryptocurrency,This 'perfect' Amazon Gadget Adds Magsafe Support To Your Kindle Bgr Com,satire

  • Workers assemble Converse shoes in makeshift workshops amidst crumbling Sarajevo factory buildings

    Business & Industry

    Converse Slips into Yugoslavia

    In a move aimed at circumventing US sanctions, Serbia's state-owned oil firm NIS has granted Converse, the Nike subsidiary specializing in outdated footwear,...

    · Business & Industry,Business,US Sanctions,International Business,Rebranding Strategy,Us,White House,Economy,Labor,Serbia's NIS Seeks New Sanctions Waiver,satire

  • Fresno Unified School District Board Member Brenda Schilling reviews the 700-page staff report analyzing student sentiment on ice during a committee meeting at district headquarters on Tuesday.

    Education

    Fresno School Board Member Faces 700-Page Report On Whether Students Were 'Anti-Ice' Or 'Very Pro-Ice'

    Fresno Unified board member Brenda Schilling is confronting an unprecedented 700-page staff analysis attempting to categorize hundreds of high school...

    · Education,Social Issues & Activism,Student protests,School administration,Policy analysis,Local government,Politics,Sports,Elections,California School Board Member Faces Scrutiny Over Student Anti ICE Protest,longform,column,satire

  • A scene representing the current state of Global Affairs & Diplomacy.

    Global Affairs & Diplomacy

    Air Canada suspends flights to Cuba amid fuel shortage

    In a stunning display of administrative agility, Global Affairs & Diplomacy has successfully pivoted from a minor concern to a city-wide conversation starter. Observers remain cautiously optimistic that the situation wil...

    · Global Affairs & Diplomacy,Energy & Utilities,Cuba-Canada relations,fuel shortage,bureaucratic response,diplomatic crisis,energy policy,Politics,Economy,Energy,Airlines Unable To Refuel In Cuba As US Oil Blockade Deepens Crisis,satire

  • A Turning Point USA coordinator celebrates the flawless execution of the All American Halftime Show's logistical plan on the field at Sun Devil Stadium.

    Politics & Policy

    Nation's Turning Point USA Declares Halftime Show Schedule A Triumph Of Bureaucratic Rigor Over Actual Content

    Turning Point USA has unveiled the meticulously choreographed schedule and broadcast details for its All American Halftime Show, an event whose primary...

    · Politics & Policy,Arts & Entertainment,Political Organizations,Event Planning,Public Speaking,Media Broadcasts,Conservative Movement,Us,Lifestyle,Elections,Turning Point Usa's All American Halftime Show Schedule And Broadcast Details Revealed,satire