Reporting the news from just outside of reality.

Updated Thursday, March 05, 2026

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Staff Writer

Rodney Novak

Rodney Novak reports private-equity makeover culture and corporate governance stunts like an anthropologist in expensive sneakers. Rodney covers housing fallout with a calculator and no patience for euphemism. Rodney's favorite source is the budget line item that forgot to hide.

12 published articles private equity makeover culture corporate governance stunts housing affordability vaudeville

Showing 12 of 12 articles

  • A Bureau of Competitive Integrity agent prepares to void a trainer's Hall of Fame credentials, despite the trainer's successful capture of the legendary Pokémon Deoxys, visible on the Nintendo Switch screen.

    Arts & Entertainment

    Pokémon Company retroactively strips Hall of Fame credentials from trainers using Aurora Tickets.

    Nintendo issued a formal notice nullifying all Hall of Fame inductions tied to the newly accessible Aurora and Mystic Tickets.

    · Arts & Entertainment,Technology & Innovation,Video Games,Nintendo,Pokémon,Digital Content,Gaming Industry,Business,Sports,International,Mystic Aurora Ticket Easily Obtainable In Pokemon Firered Leafgreen On Switch My,satire

  • A library patron receives a smart glasses alert from the Nearby Glasses app while an unsuspecting woman reads nearby.

    Technology & Innovation

    New app flags nearby smart glasses by their Bluetooth beacons

    Swiss hobbyist coder Yves Jeanrenaud has launched Nearby Glasses, an Android application that scans for Bluetooth signals from wearable tech.

    · Technology & Innovation,Consumer & Retail,wearable technology,Bluetooth detection,surveillance concerns,mobile applications,privacy tools,Technology,Sports,Tech Industry,New Android App Alerts You When Someone Nearby Is Wearing Smart Glasses,longform,column,satire

  • Ann Doucette takes notes during the January protest at Cities Church, documenting alleged procedural violations as activists demonstrate in the aisle.

    Legal Affairs

    Minnesota parishioner sues protesters for improper worship disruption paperwork

    Ann Doucette of St. Paul has filed a federal complaint arguing that the defendants violated her right to worship by neglecting to complete requisite...

    · Legal Affairs,Religion & Faith,First Amendment,Religious Freedom,Federal Lawsuit,Protest Rights,Civil Litigation,Us,Crime,Crime & Courts,Minnesota Church Congregant Files Lawsuit Against Anti ICE Protesters,longform,column,satire

  • A Workday product manager demonstrates the new Human Error Assurance subscription in the company's R&D lab, where systems are designed to reintroduce manageable corporate mistakes.

    Business & Industry

    Workday Introduces 'Human Error Assurance' Subscription After AI Voids Its Own Revenue Forecasts.

    Workday has launched a premium subscription service that monetizes the predictable failure of its AI systems to meet financial targets.

    · Business & Industry,Technology & Innovation,AI reliability,corporate strategy,software subscriptions,financial forecasting,enterprise software,Business,Technology,Artificial Intelligence,Workday Guides For Subscription Revenue Growth To Slow Amid Mounting AI Worries,satire

  • Nvidia CEO Jensen Huang leads an emergency analysis of competitor press release phrasing during a board meeting following the AMD-Meta partnership announcement.

    Business & Industry

    Nvidia board of directors convenes emergency meeting to analyze AMD-Meta deal for secret slights.

    Nvidia executives spent seven hours dissecting the phrasing of a press release about AMD's chip supply agreement with Meta Platforms.

    · Business & Industry,Technology & Innovation,semiconductor industry,corporate competition,supply chain,executive leadership,market analysis,Business,Economy,Markets,Nvidia Stock Falls After AMD Meta Deal Why Wall Street Is Bullish,satire

  • A PayPal executive presents a post-breach analysis, highlighting a surge in platform engagement metrics following the unauthorized access event.

    Business

    PayPal Announces Partnership With Thieves to Streamline Money Removal Process.

    PayPal confirmed Thursday that a six-month data breach had inadvertently created an innovative new funds transfer protocol.

    · Business,Technology,Elections,Economy,Tech Industry,Cybersecurity,Paypal Data Breach Confirmed Money Was Stolen Passwords Now Reset Forbes,satire

  • Google CEO Sundar Pichai tests the company's new contextual cooking feature in a Mountain View innovation lab, following user reports of baked goods spontaneously generating from text message metaphors.

    Technology & Innovation

    Google announces emergency hotline staffed by chefs to address text message cooking feature malfunctions.

    Google Messages has reportedly implemented a literal cooking interface that turns recipe texts into actual meals.

    · Technology & Innovation,Consumer & Retail,software bugs,product development,tech support,mobile apps,artificial intelligence,Technology,Sports,Tech Industry,Google Messages Is Quietly Addressing One Of Its Most Requested Features Android,satire

  • Delivery drone deposits another PlayStation 5 unit in Tokyo apartment already overwhelmed by identical consoles, following automated response to wedding invitation addressed to Sony executives.

    Consumer & Retail

    Sony Sends PS5 as Wedding Gift After Couple's Bizarre Invite Goes Viral

    A Tokyo couple's decision to invite Sony executives to their wedding has backfired spectacularly, resulting in the arrival of 47 PS5 consoles instead of human...

    · Culture, Consumer & Retail, Technology & Innovation, corporate gifting, automation, gaming consoles, social media, logistics, Technology, Business, State & Local, Couple Goes Viral After Inviting Sony To Their Wedding And Receiving Free, longform, column, satire

  • A scene representing the current state of Weibo Stock At A Crossroads Can China Social Media Veteran Reignite Growth.

    Us

    Weibo's Stock At A Crossroads: Can China's Social Media ...

    In a stunning display of administrative agility, Weibo Stock At A Crossroads Can China Social Media Veteran Reignite Growth has successfully pivoted from a minor concern to a city-wide conversation starter. Observers rem...

    · Us,Business,Internet Culture,Weibo Stock At A Crossroads Can China Social Media Veteran Reignite Growth,satire

  • A scene representing the current state of Cinema Culture And Conversation A Week Of Star Power Policy Shifts And.

    Politics

    Cinema, Culture and Conversation: A Week of Star Power ...

    Local observers report that Cinema Culture And Conversation A Week Of Star Power Policy Shifts And is now operating at such high levels of bureaucratic density that it has begun to affect local property values. Observers...

    · Politics,Entertainment,Cinema Culture And Conversation A Week Of Star Power Policy Shifts And,satire

  • A scene representing the current state of The Truth About US Bancorp Are You Sleeping On This Bank Stock.

    Science

    Opening Bell: 2.12.26

    The latest reports on The Truth About US Bancorp Are You Sleeping On This Bank Stock indicate that while the original objective has been lost, the commitment to fancy PowerPoint transitions remains unshakable. Observers ...

    · Science,Economy,Space,The Truth About US Bancorp Are You Sleeping On This Bank Stock,satire

  • A scene representing the current state of News And Current Affairs From Germany And Around The World.

    Us

    Germany | News and in-depth reporting from Berlin ...

    In a stunning display of administrative agility, News And Current Affairs From Germany And Around The World has successfully pivoted from a minor concern to a city-wide conversation starter. Observers remain cautiously o...

    · Us,Science,News And Current Affairs From Germany And Around The World,satire