Technology & Innovation
Microsoft insists on making Xbox consoles despite market realities
Xbox executives have doubled down on their commitment to first-party hardware despite market trends pointing toward a publisher-only future.
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Future Drop: Sticker Panic Pack
Stickers, mugs, and suspiciously official newsroom gear are in development. See what's coming next.
Global Affairs & Diplomacy
Trump Mulls Iran Talks Outcome: Generals Win Pentagon Coffee, Nation Awaits Policy
President Trump has temporarily shelved plans for airstrikes against Iran after a preliminary cost-benefit ana...
Politics & Policy
Paris Demands Sovereignty Referendum After Serving As French Capital For 1,200 Years
The City of Paris has formally petitioned the French government to hold a referendum on its status as the nati...
Finance & Banking
Financial Surgeon Recommends Sterilizing Software Stocks Before Trading Them
Dr. James Dahle has unveiled a groundbreaking approach to software stock trading that applies the exacting sta...
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Technology & Innovation
IonQ Stock Rises on Breakthrough in Predicting the Past
Quantum computing firm IonQ saw shares surge following a quarterly earnings beat that executives attributed to...
Technology & Innovation
Yves Jeanrenaud's Bluetooth Leak Detector Spots Meta's Spying Spectacles
A German computer scientist has created an app that scans for Bluetooth signals emitted by Meta's Ray-Ban smar...
Labor & Work
Andrew Yang proposes severance package featuring complimentary career coaching from AI
Entrepreneur Andrew Yang has announced an emergency retraining program that replaces spreadsheets with sheet m...
Business
Nvidia's AI demand so hot, it's cooling bubble fears with a $68 billion firehose
In response to persistent Wall Street chatter about an overheating AI sector, chipmaker Nvidia has taken the u...
Business
Circle Internet's Quarterly Profit Now Classified as a Stablecoin
Circle Internet Group announced Tuesday that its recent surge in quarterly profit has become a fixed feature o...
Technology & Innovation
IonQ Beats Forecasts After Guidance Is Hand-Calculated On Office Quantum Computer
Quantum computing firm IonQ stunned investors Thursday by beating earnings expectations after installing a pro...
Technology & Innovation
Disney CEO Josh D'Amaro to Revitalize Star Wars by Introducing Actual Weather
The Walt Disney Company has deployed a proprietary atmospheric manipulation technology to guarantee perfect 72...
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Novo Nordisk pays billions to make obesity easier to swallow
Novo Nordisk has entered a $2.1 billion licensing agreement with Vivtex to develop oral biologics that navigate the gastrointestinal tract with the ea...
Ford Recalls 4.4 Million Vehicles for Software That Prioritizes Fuel Economy Over Braking
Ford Motor Company has initiated one of the largest recalls in automotive history after a software anomaly caused towed trailers to audibly analyze dr...
Mon Names FBI's Epstein Fax Machine in Cultural Reset Show
A cursed fax machine at The Guardian's offices has been misfiling crucial FBI 302 forms related to the Epstein case under 'entertainment gossip'.
P!NK learns of 20-year marriage's end from car radio on way to celebrate it
Pop singer P!NK learned of her own marital dissolution Thursday when a Phoenix radio station announced her separation from motocross star Carey Hart d...
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Clinton cites advances in scheduling for her undocumented Epstein avoidance
Former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton testified Thursday that advances in commercial aviation directly enabled her categorical lack of encounters...
Bipartisan commission formed to ensure AI poses equal danger to both parties
Lawmakers from both parties have finally achieved on the existential dangers posed by artificial intelligence.
Clinton requests choreographer for Epstein deposition after panning GOP's amateur theatrics
Hillary Clinton has halted her deposition before the House Oversight Committee to demand production values worthy of what she calls 'the most importan...
White House Reviews Emergency Order Granting Trump Power to Declare Elections 'Too Confusing'
A coalition of activists has presented the White House with a proposal to declare America's electoral system a national emergency due to its overwhelm...
Mayor Mamdani's Second Trump Summit Graded on Bipartisan 'Effort
New York City's administration has developed a revolutionary metric to quantify political diplomacy, rating Mayor Zohran Mamdani's second meeting with...
Minnesota parishioner sues protesters for improper worship disruption paperwork
Ann Doucette of St. Paul has filed a federal complaint arguing that the defendants violated her right to worship by neglecting to complete requisite...
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AMD CEO hawked Meta-deal hype from a folding table
Advanced Micro Devices capitalized on its landmark partnership with Meta Platforms by liquidating corporate assets through an impromptu flea market-st...
Judge finds IRS's 42,695 violations lack the requisite specificity
The Internal Revenue Service's admission of breaking federal law precisely 42,695 times has been deemed mathematically unsatisfying by a federal overs...
KTLA presents Emmy-nominated reporter with an unexpected 40th birthday gift: termination
KTLA executives defended the abrupt dismissal of veteran journalist Ellina Abovian on her 40th birthday by framing it as an unconventional career gift...