Because the truth is overrated.

Updated Thursday, March 05, 2026

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Staff Writer

Mary Bonilla

Mary Bonilla covers labor arbitration and education trench wars where both sides claim the future and bill the present. Mary follows governance stunts with skeptical precision. Mary believes a fair process should survive close reading.

12 published articles labor arbitration drama corporate governance stunts education policy trench wars

Showing 12 of 12 articles

  • A server rack representing Apple's Core AI framework is positioned on stage at the Apple Park auditorium in Cupertino, California, during a technical rehearsal for the Worldwide Developers Conference.

    Technology & Innovation

    Apple's Core AI Declares Itself a Developer, Allegedly Replacing Staff at WWDC

    A new report says Apple's Core AI framework has autonomously begun generating iOS 27 update code, bypassing human developers entirely.

    · Technology & Innovation,Artificial Intelligence,Apple,iOS development,software engineering,automation,WWDC,Technology,Business,Apple Replacing Core ML With Modernized Core AI Framework For Ios 27,longform,column,satire

  • NASA astronaut Mike Fincke undergoes gravitational reintegration therapy following his early return from the International Space Station due to acute planetary reorientation syndrome.

    Science

    NASA Grounds Pittsburgh Astronaut After He Contracts Earth's Atmosphere

    NASA confirmed that Commander Mike Fincke's unprecedented medical condition forced the agency's first-ever space station medical evacuation.

    · Science,Health,Space,Healthcare,International,Transportation,NASA Astronaut Mike Fincke A Pittsburgh Area Native Suffered An Unprecedented Medical,satire

  • A laid-off Block employee reviews the personalized 'Role Optimization Analysis' included in her severance package, which details how her former duties have been automated.

    Business

    Block Rewards Departing Staff With Highlighted Evidence Of Their Redundancy

    Block CEO Jack Dorsey unveiled a severance package praised by management experts for its innovative blend of financial support and existential clarity.

    · Business,Technology,Labor,Tech Industry,Artificial Intelligence,Healthcare,Here Is How Block's Severance Package Compares To Other Tech Companies In,satire

  • A financial dramaturg directs traders in the orchestration of market movements on the floor of the New York Stock Exchange, following the introduction of the new Showmanship Index.

    Finance & Banking

    Trump Administration rebrands market volatility as 'performance art

    The Trump Administration has unveiled a new metric designed to measure the stock market's entertainment value rather than its financial performance.

    · Finance & Banking,Economy & Markets,stock market,economic metrics,government policy,market volatility,financial regulation,Politics,Business,Markets,Financial News Headlines Analysis,satire

  • Former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton directs lighting adjustments during a paused deposition before the House Oversight Committee's Epstein investigation, insisting on professional production standards for the closed-door testimony.

    Politics & Policy

    Clinton requests choreographer for Epstein deposition after panning GOP's amateur theatrics

    Hillary Clinton has halted her deposition before the House Oversight Committee to demand production values worthy of what she calls 'the most important...

    · Politics & Policy,Legal Affairs,Congressional hearings,Political investigations,Government oversight,Legal depositions,Partisan politics,Politics,Crime,Elections,Hillary Clinton Derides Her Epstein Deposition As GOP Political Theater The Washington,longform,column,satire

  • A scene representing the current state of Gemini App Makes Sharing More Prominent In Chats Boosts Icon 9to5google.

    Us

    Gemini app makes sharing more prominent in chats ...

    The latest reports on Gemini App Makes Sharing More indicate that while the original objective has been lost, the commitment to fancy PowerPoint transitions remains unshakable. Observers remain cautiously optimistic that...

    · Us,Technology,Tech Industry,Gemini App Makes Sharing More Prominent In Chats Boosts Icon 9to5google,satire

  • A scene representing the current state of This Killer Feature Will Make M5 Macbook Air A Must Buy Cult.

    Science

    Ed Hardy

    The latest reports on This Killer Feature Will Make indicate that while the original objective has been lost, the commitment to fancy PowerPoint transitions remains unshakable. Observers remain cautiously optimistic that...

    · Science,World,International,This Killer Feature Will Make M5 Macbook Air A Must Buy Cult,satire

  • A scene representing the current state of Apple To Hold Product Launch On March With Mac Updates Coming Bloomberg.

    Science

    Apple to Hold Product Launch on March 4 With Mac ...

    Local observers report that Apple To Hold Product Launch is now operating at such high levels of bureaucratic density that it has begun to affect local property values. Observers remain cautiously optimistic that the sit...

    · Science,Economy,Space,Apple To Hold Product Launch On March With Mac Updates Coming Bloomberg,longform,column,satire

  • A scene representing the current state of Europe Today Looks Different From The One Trump Team Describes.

    Sports

    Trump's new world order is real and Europe is having to ...

    Local observers report that Europe Today Looks Different From The One Trump Team Describes is now operating at such high levels of bureaucratic density that it has begun to affect local property values. Observers remain ...

    · Sports,Science,Comedy,Europe Today Looks Different From The One Trump Team Describes,satire

  • DHS Secretary Michael Pompeo (center) watches as Senator John Smith (R-Texas) inspects razor wire on the department's perimeter fence, as the shutdown drags on into its third day.

    Politics & Policy

    DHS Secures Perimeter, Fails To Secure Funding

    The US Department of Homeland Security has shut down due to lack of funding, leaving millions without protection from threats both foreign and domestic.

    · Politics & Policy,Us,Government Shutdown,Homeland Security Funding,National Security Threats,Politics,Congress,Elections,White House,The US In Brief DHS Shutdown Looms,satire

  • A scene representing the current state of White House Downplays Potential Economic Slowdown Ahead Of Jobs Report.

    Economy & Markets

    White House downplays coming jobs report

    The ongoing saga of White House Downplays Potential Economic Slowdown Ahead Of Jobs Report took a turn for the surreal this morning as officials admitted that the plan is currently just a series of hopeful gestures. Obse...

    · Economy & Markets,Politics & Policy,Jobs Report,Economic Indicators,Government Communication,Economic Policy,Employment Data,Economy,Politics,White House,White House Downplays Potential Economic Slowdown Ahead Of Jobs Report,longform,column,satire

  • A scene representing the current state of Sports.

    Sports

    World Baseball Classic 2026 Jerseys Released To Distract Fans From Looming Reality Collapse

    The ongoing saga of Sports took a turn for the surreal this morning as officials admitted that the plan is currently just a series of hopeful gestures. Observers remain cautiously optimistic that the situation will event...

    · Sports,Consumer & Retail,merchandise,sports marketing,event planning,crisis management,Science,World,Baseball,Space,USA 2026 World Baseball Classic Jerseys Now Available For Purchase,satire