Where logic and decency take a vacation.

Updated Thursday, March 05, 2026

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Staff Writer

Zachary Gross

Zachary Gross works legislative brinkmanship and oversight hearings with the patience of a trial stenographer. Zachary covers federal procurement theater by following the nouns nobody defines twice. Zachary trusts timestamps more than press conferences.

8 published articles legislative brinkmanship intelligence oversight hearings federal procurement theater

Showing 8 of 8 articles

  • Nvidia CEO Jensen Huang presents the company's quarterly earnings alongside a hyperlocal weather forecast for financial markets during a briefing in New York on Wednesday.

    Finance & Banking

    Nvidia Earnings to Dictate Market's Seasonal Affective Disorder

    Analysts praised the seamless integration of meteorological data into Nvidia's quarterly financial disclosures.

    · Finance & Banking,Business & Industry,earnings reports,stock market,investment analysis,corporate disclosures,market volatility,Business,Climate,Markets,Stock Futures Drift Higher Nvidia Earnings To Drive Direction Investing Com,satire

  • NASA scientists at the Chandra X-ray Observatory control room analyze the first clear image of star HD 61005 actively blowing a bubble of hot gas to block the telescope's view.

    Science & Research

    Chandra Observatory finds sun-like star blowing smoke screen at Earth

    The Chandra X-ray Observatory has captured what scientists are calling a deliberate act of interstellar evasion by the young star HD 61005.

    · Science & Research,Politics,astronomy,space exploration,NASA,stellar phenomena,X-ray observation,Science,Space,NASA Space Telescope Gets 1st Clear Ray Image Of Sun Like Star,longform,column,satire

  • A Samsung Galaxy S26 Ultra undergoes overnight diagnostic testing at a company research facility in San Jose, California.

    Technology & Innovation

    Samsung's Galaxy S26 AI Now Manages Your Entire Existence, Including Your Midlife Crisis

    The Galaxy S26 series promises to simplify users' lives by actively managing schedules, resolving conflicts, and anticipating emotional needs before they arise.

    · Technology & Innovation,Artificial Intelligence,smartphones,personal assistants,consumer electronics,digital lifestyle,automation,Lifestyle,Technology,Labor,Samsung Unveils Galaxy S26 Series The Most Intuitive Galaxy AI Phone Yet,satire

  • Spirit Airlines CEO Dave Davis outlines the carrier's new operational strategy to a creditor representative in a Fort Lauderdale hangar on Tuesday.

    Business & Industry

    Spirit Airlines Rebrands Bankruptcy as an Ultra-Low-Cost Business Model

    Spirit Airlines has unveiled a bold new operational strategy to emerge from bankruptcy by fundamentally redefining demand.

    · Business & Industry,Travel & Transportation,Airlines,Bankruptcy,Corporate Strategy,Operational Restructuring,Travel Industry,Business,Travel,Energy,Spirit Airlines Plans Life After Bankruptcy With Creditor Deal WSJ,satire

  • White House senior adviser Stephen Miller briefs reporters on the new Digital Reciprocity Enforcement policy, detailing the three-stage retaliation process following the Supreme Court's tariff ruling.

    Legal Affairs

    Supreme Court voids tariffs; Trump vows to retaliate by unfriending chief justice on Truth Social.

    The Supreme Court ruled 6-3 that President Trump's global tariffs exceeded authority under emergency powers laws, voiding levies imposed on allies and...

    · Legal Affairs,Economy & Markets,Supreme Court,tariffs,trade policy,executive power,business impact,Politics,World,International,Supreme Court voids tariffs; Trump vows to retaliate by unfriending chief justice on Truth Social.,satire

  • House Speaker Mike Johnson navigates a press conference while a secondary arm, identified as belonging to President Donald J. Trump remains thrust inside Johnson's rectal cavity.

    Politics & Policy

    House Republicans debate surgical separation of Trump's arm from Speaker Johnson's ass.

    GOP leadership has convened an emergency session to address the physical entanglement of Donald Trump's limb within Mike Johnson's abdominal cavity.

    · Politics & Policy,Sports,Republican Party,Political Leadership,Party Unity,Internal Conflict,Political Theater,Politics,Elections,House Republicans Debate Having Trumps Arm Removed from Up Mike Johnson's Ass,satire

  • A scene representing the current state of Podcast A Deep Dive Into How Republican Culture Wars Reveal America Capacity.

    Us

    Podcast: A "Deep Dive" into how Republican culture wars ...

    The latest reports on Podcast A Deep Dive Into How Republican Culture Wars Reveal America Capacity indicate that while the original objective has been lost, the commitment to fancy PowerPoint transitions remains unshakab...

    · Us,Entertainment,Podcast A Deep Dive Into How Republican Culture Wars Reveal America Capacity,satire

  • An Amazon employee encounters the newly deployed Glamrock Freddy animatronic security unit during a late-night departure from the company's Seattle headquarters.

    Technology & Innovation

    Amazon deploys Five Nights at Freddy's Security Breach as actual physical security for its corporate headquarters.

    Amazon has repurposed the sentient animatronics from its new PS5 game release as a low-cost security solution at its Seattle campus.

    · Technology & Innovation,Business & Industry,Corporate Security,Automation,Cost-Cutting,Video Games,Workforce,Business,Technology,Artificial Intelligence,Amazon Just Added A Whole Bunch Of New PS5 Games To Its,satire